“I Wish I Were” – Weekly Blog Response

Posted on October 30, 2012

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I really had no response to the daily blog prompt regarding a Goldilocks moment, where something seemed “just right”. I could tell you about how I finally stopped my tablet search with the iPad after several attempts or some other such purchase decision, but honestly, I wasn’t interested in writing that blog and I can’t imagine anyone else would be terribly interested in reading it. You’ll hear enough of my tech opinions in the Midweek Geek Outs.

Plus, I have to admit I generally feel a bit out of place, like I missed my bus and I am trying to reach my destination in time. Not to sound discontented, as I believe an attitude of thankfulness is so important to genuine growth and progress, but truthfully, I am a bit dissatisfied with my present circumstances. Of course I am making efforts to change my situation, but that doesn’t happen overnight. I am still finding my niche, so… ask me again in a year if I have a good Goldilocks story, and hopefully, I’ll have one that will blow your face off.

The weekly prompt raises my hackles just slightly, to be honest, the premise being: “I wish I were [fill in the blank]”. Wishing and daydreaming don’t accomplish much, and I am not one to allow myself to linger on regret. All you can do is make sure you’re ready when opportunity strikes again.

However, as I don’t believe the spirit of the prompt is to encourage lollygagging, I’ll play along. Actually, if you draw the similarities between wishing and dreaming, I think dreaming is really fundamental for us to determine our path, a litmus test of sorts for “good ideas” versus “great ideas” in terms of purpose and destiny and such. I probably neglect that side of the equation; I get so focused on drive harder mode that I forget to dream sometimes, and I lose part of the magic found in the day to day. As much as I loathe cliches, how you got to your destination genuinely is what makes the accomplishment special.

I won’t look at my past and try to decide what I could have done differently. I am now unrelenting in my goal to be the man I believe I am capable of and not compromise that, for any reason, and I don’t know that I would be in that place had I not seen where weak minded thinking can lead. I won’t divulge too much of my dreams of the future because I am a bit superstitious; besides, something that intimate isn’t meant for public ears. Needless to say, I am doing the same thing I do every night, Pinky…

So, as for this moment in time… I wish I were more caught up in the moment. I wish I were in love; I have nearly forgotten what that feels like, that humbling feeling that something absolutely wonderful has happened, more than you probably deserve and you’re just… thankful. I wish I were less restrained by the logistics of making my dreams come to light and more embroiled in the world surrounding me, God’s love letter to humanity, His love letter to me.

I definitely don’t want to give up any ground; there is a certain restraint to vision (and it’s good), but I do wish I were making it more of a point to enjoy what I have around me right now.

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